One of the most touching and traumatic period a child can undergo is to witness the divorce of his parents in front of his eyes. It is a matter that is so deep and debatable that none can completely assure me of its positive sides. Love may diminish due to a number of reasons and its better to move the kids away from a hostile and loveless atmosphere to a healthy environment. Child custody is another factor which gains importance during such times and its a very sensitive issue when parents decide to split up. It is at this time that special care and emotional guidance needs to be given to the children to prevent them from entering into a shell. Kids are good at bottling up their emotions at such times and the parents too are too messed up in their own personal battles to take care of their kids. This leads to behavioral problems later on or depression. While marriages are made in heaven holds true for some couples, but sometimes circumstances take a different turn and the once happily married couples decide to separate. This could be due to incompatibility, cheating of one spouse, domestic violence and such other irreconcilable differences. Listed below are some essential points the parent guardian should definitely undertake and follow in spite of his/her mental condition.
- Talk to the child: The child has a right to know what’s going on. Talk to the child in a matured way without poisoning his/her mind against the other parent. Remember both the parents are equally important to the child and none’s image should be tarnished in their minds.
- Ensure a weekly or monthly day out with the other parent: The child has a right to communicate and spend time with the other parent too. All these rules should be clearly jotted down at the time of separation.
- Do not fight ugly in front of the kids: Whatever be your reasons remember NEVER to fight in front of your children if you want them to be healthy and responsible adults in the future.
- Try to be happy: Try to let go of your negativity and live a happy life in front of your kids to make them feel that all is well. If you are sad and frustrated all the time, they would end up being sad too.
- Do not rush into another relationship: There is no hurry to rush into another relationship. This will make your child even more hostile towards you and will never respect or care for you. Your next partner has to be friends with your kids first. She/he should know that you come with a package!
- Spend some more time with the kids: Try to have some more emotional bonding with your children during these tough times to ensure their mental well being and to give them time to come out of depression.
Though most of what is listed above is common sense but when the circumstances take a toll on you, you as a single parent often forget about your child. Parents especially mothers often limit the divorce to getting the custody of the child and then move on with their lives not paying special attention to the distressed kids. The above should be followed as a golden rule to bring in health and happiness in your kid’s world.0